lurkitty: (geektoaster)
I just received this via email - Fair warning to all Trekkies!!

Republicans Criticize Trekkies for Singing National Anthem in Klingon

Washington – President Bush lashed out at Star Trek fans, or Trekkies,
for opening conventions and fan club gatherings by singing the
Star-Spangled Banner in Klingon, a language spoken in the fictional Star
Trek universe, Underneath Politics has learned.

“If we are going to criticize the Latin Community for singing the
National Anthem in Spanish, we cannot give a free pass to the Star Trek
fan community just because they are crazy in a harmless sort of way,”
President Bush said from the Rose Garden.

Democrats on Capital Hill equated the President’s criticism to an attack
on the 1st Amendment. “The Constitution does not say anything about the
freedom to speak a language used by fictional bad guys from outer
space,” Senator Harry Reid (D-NV) said. “But there’s no doubt in my mind
the framers of the Constitution would want Trekkies to have the freedom
to use such a language without governmental interference.”

The President however, feels that singing the National Anthem in Klingon
is worse than Mexican Americans singing the National Anthem in Spanish.
“In order for the Mexicans to sing the Star-Spangled Banner in English,
they have to learn the language,” President Bush said. “All the Trekkies
have to do in order to sing the National Anthem in English is use the
language they already knew before they learned Klingon. English is
something American’s were born knowing, while the knowledge to speak
Klingon is something that must be acquired.”

President Bush also fears that if the Trekkies continue to embrace
Klingon tendencies it could further divide an already polarized nation.
“These were not nice people,” President Bush said of the Klingons.
“Their goal was the total destruction of everyone onboard the Starship
Enterprise. I will not allow my National Anthem to be sung in a language
used by perpetrators of such evil.”

Senator Reid, however, says you can’t lump all Trekkie followers of
Klingon’s together. “We don’t know the motive of every Trekkie with an
affection for Klingon’s,” he said. “Sure, anyone can portray (Klingon
Founder) Kahless the Unforgettable as someone who wanted to spread his
message through violence, but those people are probably twisting his
words. Despite causing many conflicts since their beginning in 900AD, I
believe they are a peaceful people. I implore President Bush to learn
more about Klingon’s and the Klingon home world of Qo’noS before he
casts general dispersions about the kindhearted Klingon people and their
earthly followers.”

Because of the time and intelligence needed to learn the complex
language of Klingon, President Bush is afraid the Trekkies might use
their manpower and dedication to unleash a global terror war on Western
Civilization, something only Republicans have the willpower to curtail.
“Our airport scanners are not sophisticated enough to detect the Vulcan
Nerve Pinch, which Mr. Spock often used to subdue his enemies.” Mr. Bush
said. “Using wiretapping, secret prisons throughout the country and
military tribunals, I’m confident we can break up Trekkie sleeper cells
before we reach that point.”

In response to the growing Klingon problem, former President Bill
Clinton announced that he did everything he could to capture Trekkie Fan
Club President Omar Bryce Langford during his eight years in office, but
unfortunately failed due to the incompetence of the CIA and FBI.

I cried

Nov. 16th, 2006 05:17 pm
lurkitty: (Default)
Office of the Vice Chancellor for Student Affairs
UCLA- Haywood
Los Angeles, CA

Dear Mr and Mrs Tabatabainejad,

This is to inform you of disciplinary action taken in the case of your son, Mostafa. Having failed to produce his Bruin ID card on demand at the Computer Center, as any loyal Bruin would be happy to do, Mostafa was asked to leave. When he did not do so, our caring staff applied the current behavior adjustment tactic.

As you know, UCLA has eschewed the use of the wooden paddle as barbaric, opting instead in recent years for the far more humane tazer. You can be assured that this was applied with your son's best interest in mind.

We have warned Mostafa that repeated offenses of this nature will result in waterboarding.

Janina Montero,
Vice Chancellor for Student Affairs

Here's the Daily Bruin story. Here is the video Warning: The video shows graphic and disturbing images of a man being tazered.


lurkitty: (Default)

August 2011

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