Someday, Love...
Jan. 4th, 2007 01:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lurkittyTitle Someday, Love...
Author![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lurkitty
RatingPG
Pairing Filch/ Mrs. Norris/ (Madame Pince)
Warnings Erm... do I have to tell you it's crack? This started from this exchange withdramaphile. Not beta'd - mistakes are all mine.
The pages of the cheap, mass-produced spellbook simply would not stay open on their own. Argus Filch, exasperated, grabbed his inkstand and propped it open. He rose, checking the hallway outside his rooms one more time and locking his door securely. He knew it was silly; what sniveling brats there remained here lay snug in their beds waiting for Father Christmas or some other nonsense.
He'd fix Madame Pince and her "other plans".
A rat in a cage on his desk shuffled nervously. Mrs. Norris sniffed at the creature as though wondering why her dinner was being kept from her.
"Not long now, my dear. We'll try it on the rat first so we know it works" Filch unfolded the patented Spell-Stance diagram and placed his feet on the footprint outlines. Before picking up his wand, he practiced the moves with his empty hand from the book - one..two..three..four...as well as the Sure-Spell pronunciation guide.
At last he picked up his battered, grimy wand. "As sure as my old maw, who were a great Witch, this will work!"
"FEMICAMBO!"
Sparks shot out of the wand, and a squeal erupted from the rat cage. The smell of burning hair emitted from a small patch on the rat's back. The rat, however, was still a rat.
"Sorry I scared you, Mrs. Norris," Flich apologized to the cat, who was now glaring from the top of a cabinet. "I think I moved my foot. I'll get it right this time."
He repositioned himself and drew a few long breaths. Filch raised his wand.
"FE-MI-CAM-BO" He shouted, with authority.
The rat squealed in pain. There were no sparks this time, but a cursory glance revealed the reason quickly enough. The rat, which had been previously quite skinny, was now roundly pregnant and delivering babies!
Filch grabbed the Kwik Spell book and threw it across the room, shattering a jar of Weazley's prank sweets he had collected from various students. He sat down at his desk with a thud.
After a time, he slowly put away his old wand. Reaching into the rat cage, he grabbed a baby rat and tossed it to Mrs. Norris.
"Someday, Love. Someday..."
Author
lurkittyRatingPG
Pairing Filch/ Mrs. Norris/ (Madame Pince)
Warnings Erm... do I have to tell you it's crack? This started from this exchange with
dramaphile. Not beta'd - mistakes are all mine.The pages of the cheap, mass-produced spellbook simply would not stay open on their own. Argus Filch, exasperated, grabbed his inkstand and propped it open. He rose, checking the hallway outside his rooms one more time and locking his door securely. He knew it was silly; what sniveling brats there remained here lay snug in their beds waiting for Father Christmas or some other nonsense.
He'd fix Madame Pince and her "other plans".
A rat in a cage on his desk shuffled nervously. Mrs. Norris sniffed at the creature as though wondering why her dinner was being kept from her.
"Not long now, my dear. We'll try it on the rat first so we know it works" Filch unfolded the patented Spell-Stance diagram and placed his feet on the footprint outlines. Before picking up his wand, he practiced the moves with his empty hand from the book - one..two..three..four...as well as the Sure-Spell pronunciation guide.
At last he picked up his battered, grimy wand. "As sure as my old maw, who were a great Witch, this will work!"
"FEMICAMBO!"
Sparks shot out of the wand, and a squeal erupted from the rat cage. The smell of burning hair emitted from a small patch on the rat's back. The rat, however, was still a rat.
"Sorry I scared you, Mrs. Norris," Flich apologized to the cat, who was now glaring from the top of a cabinet. "I think I moved my foot. I'll get it right this time."
He repositioned himself and drew a few long breaths. Filch raised his wand.
"FE-MI-CAM-BO" He shouted, with authority.
The rat squealed in pain. There were no sparks this time, but a cursory glance revealed the reason quickly enough. The rat, which had been previously quite skinny, was now roundly pregnant and delivering babies!
Filch grabbed the Kwik Spell book and threw it across the room, shattering a jar of Weazley's prank sweets he had collected from various students. He sat down at his desk with a thud.
After a time, he slowly put away his old wand. Reaching into the rat cage, he grabbed a baby rat and tossed it to Mrs. Norris.
"Someday, Love. Someday..."
