Spending the day cleaning out old boxes in the garage, I came upon this gem. I feared it was lost with the hard drive it inhabited, but I had made a hard copy on lazor-edge tractor feed paper... It gives me hope I will find others. It is drawn loosely from real life events from my bellydance days - dating it at about 1996 or so. I give you, preserved now for posterity:
I can't remember when I have
observed such a disaster
As when my friend Lobelia
tried to be a belly dancer!
In her spangled bra and belt
I must admit she looked the part
And the smile on her dainty face
would warm a hard man's heart.
She took her place upon the stage
and struck such a pretty pose
That the poor crowd had no inkling
of the danger she imposed.
She danced the first few measures
and seemed destined for some glory!
But when she started spinning
it was a different story.
The wig upon her head went
arcing high into the air
And covered up the soundman
in a mass of falling hair!
My stalwart friend Lobelia had
no thought of a retreat;
She began a shoulder shimmy
and barely missed a beat!
The coins upon her bra then did
dislodge and find their mark
On ev'ry light bulb in the place!
So, she danced in the dark.
At last the strap holding her bra
had stretched beyond retraction
(the gentleman third row center
spent sixteen months in traction).
Just when we thought the mishaps
couldn't happen any more,
Her veil caught up in her legs
and crashed her to the floor!
But up she sprang! A trouper ,
then to shimmy all her members!
That's when the floor began to sway
with such harmonic tremors,
The foundation of the place began
to sway and creak and shatter
(But to our Lobelia this
inconvenience didn't matter).
The time had come for floorwork
as the walls began to fall.
Although the crowd was panicking
she was giving it her all!
And when the screams and crashing noise
had finally diminished,
"Don't go!" she cried, "You've got to stay!
My music hasn't finished!"
A weaker soul would make that night
her first and last performance
But somehow, to Lobelia,
the dance never lost its romance.
So if, by chance, you venture out
to see a belly dance show,
There's something to remember,
Something you should know:
That when the Emcee says, "Lobelia
performs for us for today!"
Just summon all your courage,
and run the other way.
© 2006 Merri Martin