Feb. 11th, 2007

lurkitty: (geektoaster)
I just received this via email - Fair warning to all Trekkies!!

Republicans Criticize Trekkies for Singing National Anthem in Klingon

Washington – President Bush lashed out at Star Trek fans, or Trekkies,
for opening conventions and fan club gatherings by singing the
Star-Spangled Banner in Klingon, a language spoken in the fictional Star
Trek universe, Underneath Politics has learned.

“If we are going to criticize the Latin Community for singing the
National Anthem in Spanish, we cannot give a free pass to the Star Trek
fan community just because they are crazy in a harmless sort of way,”
President Bush said from the Rose Garden.

Democrats on Capital Hill equated the President’s criticism to an attack
on the 1st Amendment. “The Constitution does not say anything about the
freedom to speak a language used by fictional bad guys from outer
space,” Senator Harry Reid (D-NV) said. “But there’s no doubt in my mind
the framers of the Constitution would want Trekkies to have the freedom
to use such a language without governmental interference.”

The President however, feels that singing the National Anthem in Klingon
is worse than Mexican Americans singing the National Anthem in Spanish.
“In order for the Mexicans to sing the Star-Spangled Banner in English,
they have to learn the language,” President Bush said. “All the Trekkies
have to do in order to sing the National Anthem in English is use the
language they already knew before they learned Klingon. English is
something American’s were born knowing, while the knowledge to speak
Klingon is something that must be acquired.”

President Bush also fears that if the Trekkies continue to embrace
Klingon tendencies it could further divide an already polarized nation.
“These were not nice people,” President Bush said of the Klingons.
“Their goal was the total destruction of everyone onboard the Starship
Enterprise. I will not allow my National Anthem to be sung in a language
used by perpetrators of such evil.”

Senator Reid, however, says you can’t lump all Trekkie followers of
Klingon’s together. “We don’t know the motive of every Trekkie with an
affection for Klingon’s,” he said. “Sure, anyone can portray (Klingon
Founder) Kahless the Unforgettable as someone who wanted to spread his
message through violence, but those people are probably twisting his
words. Despite causing many conflicts since their beginning in 900AD, I
believe they are a peaceful people. I implore President Bush to learn
more about Klingon’s and the Klingon home world of Qo’noS before he
casts general dispersions about the kindhearted Klingon people and their
earthly followers.”

Because of the time and intelligence needed to learn the complex
language of Klingon, President Bush is afraid the Trekkies might use
their manpower and dedication to unleash a global terror war on Western
Civilization, something only Republicans have the willpower to curtail.
“Our airport scanners are not sophisticated enough to detect the Vulcan
Nerve Pinch, which Mr. Spock often used to subdue his enemies.” Mr. Bush
said. “Using wiretapping, secret prisons throughout the country and
military tribunals, I’m confident we can break up Trekkie sleeper cells
before we reach that point.”

In response to the growing Klingon problem, former President Bill
Clinton announced that he did everything he could to capture Trekkie Fan
Club President Omar Bryce Langford during his eight years in office, but
unfortunately failed due to the incompetence of the CIA and FBI.
lurkitty: (geektoaster)
I was warned.

But I had a plan.

And I am a genius.

A couple of years ago, T bought me a sewing table. Not just a sewing table but a SEWING TABLE. He purchased said table at the OSU auction. It just needed a bit of resurfacing and it would be a perfect place to cut out my costumes (and take up 2/3 of my sewing room). I lovingly sanded and prepped the surface, even drawing my own cutting lines and a ruler on the side before varnishing it. The time came to move it into the room.

Uh Oh!

Flipped on its side, there was no way to maneuver it into the room. We took off the door. Still no way. There were several options. Cut off the legs and reattach them (eep! No!!!) Cut into the wooden doorjam (T's favorite) (patch wood????) or cut holes in the drywall. The next weekend, while he was gone, I executed the drywall maneuver.

I was able to patch the holes in the hallway without a problem. The ones in the room were more difficult since I had used them to patch the holes in the hallway from the back. I had the most trouble with the one near the floor.

I left off working on them until now. I sanded the ones in the hallway and the top one in the room and applied texturizer to match the wall. A coat of paint and you won't be able to tell the difference. Then there was that bottom hole.

My plan was simple. I had stapled the rectangular piece of drywall to patch the hole to some fine metal mesh. I stuffed the mesh into the hole. I had a can of spray foam insulation - the kind that grows as it comes out of the can. I planned to spray this behind the patch so that it would float it into place, Voila! Genius!

[livejournal.com profile] miladycarolhad warned me that sprayfoam was evil, but since I was using it for a different purpose, I thought I was safe...

I opened the lid, affixing the straw on the nozzle. I gently pushed it behind the patch and depressed the trigger and sprayed....for a long time. I pulled it out. Foam oozed from the tube. I quickly put it in another place and sprayed.....still not much, I pulled it out again. I was clearly not getting it anywhere I wanted it to be.

Meanwhile, I had set the can on the floor. A pile of foam was building on the carpet and side of the can. I grabbed it up with a piece of scrap paper and scooped the foam off the carpet with my hand. Now my hands were sticky. The evil foam canister never shut off!! I stuck it in a sack to contain it.

I hate it when my hands are sticky. When cooking, I have to wash the sticky off my hands right away. Unfortunately, the solvent information for the evil foam was covered up by.....evil foam!!!!!

Off to the bathroom shelves for home chemistry she goes. Soap and Water? no. Vaseline? no Alcohol? no Vinegar? no Orange Cleaner? no WD40? no Acetone? yes!!!! Soaking it in nail polish remover makes the sticky go away.

I return to my project and find the patch hanging out of the wall, backed with foam. I push it back in, and maneuver it around a bit. All done save for the Spackle and retexturing.

You know, it actually kind of worked.

Then again, I am a genius.

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